England Poem

I do not take credit for this.  I am not the author.  I did memorize it once, in sixth grade, for a project.  It was fun.  I also haven't ever been to England, unfortunately, but my mother went on an LDS mission there, which is where she got this from.  I recently had something come up that made me want to type it up, and since I went to all that hard work, you get to read it as well.  Enjoy!

ENGLAND

Oh, to be in England

If only for ‘alf a mo’

Where when they speak of “wireless”

They mean the radio

Where private schools are public

And public schools are snobby

And “insurance” is “assurance”

And a cop is called a “Bobby”

Where a “traffic rule” is a circus

And “up” is down the street

And a sweater is a jumper

And a candy is a sweet

Where a cookie is a biscuit

And a trifle is a desert

And “bloody” is a cuss word

And an “ad” is an advert.

Where gasoline is petrol

And a stone is 14 pounds

And motor cars here have bonnets

And you take the underground

And to hold up your trousers

It’s braces that you use

And a truck is called a lorry

And boots are really shoes

Where a druggist is a chemist

And the movies are the flicks

And you QUEUE upon the pavement

For a stall at 3 and 6.

There is no language barrier

Any tourist need to dread.

So long as he knows English

From A to Zee – no Zed!